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help with nasty stepmom

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Joined: 31 Aug 2006
Posts: 2
State or Province: Minnesota

PostPosted: Thu Aug 31, 2006 7:22 pm    Post subject: help with nasty stepmom Reply with quote

I have this huge problem! Either I am crazy or on my way there!
I am a mother a wonderful 7 year old boy. I have been divorced for 6 years. I had full custody, until I became too nice and decided that my ex husband was very faithful in paying child support. So off we went to court, not once, not twice, yes three have his child support reduced and the judge always said NOPE. Every time the judge asked me if I was being manipulated into doing this against my will. I said No! The final court apperance was to do joint custody. This was BIG IDEA his friend and his ex wife did this. His whole idea was we do this and he would not take him 50 percent, and pay me 400 dollars a month, instead if the 680 that was court ordered. SO NOW 1 and 1/2 years later I stand here with my son gone 50 percent of the time, and NO child support. I HATE IT!!!!!

My problem is now that he found this new woman, now wife. I HAVE LOST EVERYTHING!! She has so much control of his life, and make me feel like a complete idiot. She has degraded me in front of my child with such things as, Senerio: at a baseball game for my son, always koas for any mother the bat, glove, shoes, gatorade...well anyway you get the point... It began to down pour, and I said laughing Jen Dont ya like to get wet...Every mother was laughing cause it was so nice out that day. Her response in return was "no i'm just smart enough to bring an unbrella" WHY would she say that? She has said to me you try to by your son's love, my responce was WITH WHAT MONEY!! And my last incident and the school open house, I had gotten there last, She had gotten the packet of papers that we all get before school starts, I polietly asked for it, she held it harder, I then said I can't take that for you. She held it harder, finally my ex said Give it to her!!! So now I had it, But some how by the end of the openhouse she got it again and took it!! So I said to my ex give me the papers please! My poor son had to say mommy just let dad have it.
WHY is she doing this, she is controling things that she has no right to control! How do I react with out losing it!!

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Joined: 03 Jul 2006
Posts: 31
State or Province: Oklahoma

PostPosted: Mon Sep 04, 2006 3:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

OMG I feel for you. She is wanting total contro, to someone else's child. No way would that go over with me either. She should not have been allowed to carry on like that. I would talk to your ex, away from wifey, and tell him in no uncertain termes that you are mom, you gave birth, and you will always be mom. He can either call her off or you will have to.
I do not blame you for being upset. She is way crossing the line and interfering with your parental rights.
I hope you can get through to him. Let us know.
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Joined: 02 Feb 2007
Posts: 2
State or Province: Iowa

PostPosted: Fri Feb 02, 2007 2:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm in the same situation. In the beginning when i split up with the dad, i too was nice and did joint custody. Everything was good until my boy started kindergarten and i was on 2nd shift. Ever since his dad's gf has taken over school and medical. Now i'm a stay at home mom w/ 2 more children. i have requested many times that i want control of his dr. appts just to be ignored by her, and she actually told me that my son loves her the same way he loves me. She has also said that she will raise my son what ever way she wants. I have had enough. I want to take full custody, but don't know if I can because of how long we've had split. I lawyer friend of mine has told me that I should write a demand letter, basically stating my demands and if they don't work w/ me then I will go for full custody. That also shows the court that I am trying to work w/ them.
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Joined: 10 Feb 2007
Posts: 2
State or Province: Florida

PostPosted: Mon Feb 12, 2007 10:04 am    Post subject: what a relief Reply with quote

It's wonderful to know that I'm not the only one dealing with a nonparticipating father, who has given all parental rights over to his controlling wife. My daughter has been through so much unnecessary turmoil due to this woman. It has gotten to the point where I had to take him back to court and insisted on having a court appointed Parenting Coordinator and a court appointment Therapist assigned to our case. It has been almost a year now, and the process is very slow, but in the recent weeks issues are beginning to look more promising. With a Parenting Coordinator and Therapist there is no more she said I said. They get right to point of what really happens, and they have the duty to report directly to the judge if they feel changes need to made. One warning. they are not working for you or the other parent, they are working for your child, so be prepared to hear the harsh realities they will tell you.

Has anyone else worked with a Parenting Coordinator? And if so, what where your results?
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