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Hi, My name is Cindy

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Joined: 31 Aug 2010
Posts: 2
State or Province: Washington

PostPosted: Tue Aug 31, 2010 11:56 am    Post subject: Hi, My name is Cindy Reply with quote

I posted this on the intro board, but I thought I would post here as well.


I'm not a single mom yet, but I'm seriously considering asking my husband to leave. I just want to know what I'm getting myself into.

Here's the situation:

My husband and I have been married for almost 5 years. We have 4 1/2 yr old twin girls. He hasn't worked since before their 3rd birthday. Granted, he's stayed home with them while I've worked, but it hasn't been easy. We recently moved back to Washington state from Kansas, and I've come to realize since the move that he's a very lazy man.

He's let himself go to the point where he ways almost 600lbs and he has almost all of the health issues you would expect from being that far overweight. He complains all the time about how he hates being overweight, he hates hurting all the time because of it, he hates being tired all the time because of it, he hates the sores on his legs that are a result of the weight issue. But he does nothing about it. He's got an antibiotic that was given to him at the beginning of July for his legs, and he won't take them. He's got a prescription for an anti-inflammatory for his knees that he rarely takes. He *might* shower once a week.

Ok, I know this is supposed to be more about being a mom. I don't think he's a very good role model for my kids. I can't be sure that he doesn't fall asleep during the day while he's supposed to be watching them. He cusses at them, he gets mad for the stupidest (sp?) things, he never does anything with them if I'm home. I don't know what else to do.

I can pretty much guarantee that I would get custody if there were to be a fight over it, but I'm hoping there won't be. He's not physically capable of bathing them. He has no means of income unless he were to get a job, and he doesn't think he can with his health issues.

I'm crying just writing this, but I am hoping for some advice of some sort.

Thank you if you made it all the way through this.
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Joined: 08 Oct 2010
Posts: 3
State or Province: New York

PostPosted: Fri Oct 08, 2010 8:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hello, I am very sorry to hear about your situation. I'm going to give you advice not as a mother, but as a daughter. Currently me and my father are in the middle of a VERY BIG blow out. And honestly its about nothing. The only thing that I can think of is that the entire time growing up he always said hurtful things especially during a heated argument. You must realize that yoru husband is setting an example for your daughters on what type of man they will choose to have children with and to marry. Now, I dont reccomend that you severe your marriage with him yet. But have you told him how much this is affecting your family? I think you should really explain things to him, but I DONT think that you should mention the weight gain. Im sure that he is very bothered by this and will probably go on defense mode when you do this. You should address how you feel about his actions first and then when you guys' communications start to get better you can talk about his weight problem. I hope that this is helpful.
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Joined: 05 Nov 2010
Posts: 5
State or Province: Indiana

PostPosted: Tue Nov 09, 2010 7:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am sorry to hear about your situation as well - but welcome to the board and know that there is tons of support here as well as countless outlets for you to seek help and advice all over the web. I am keeping you in my prayers and hope that everything works out for the best.
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