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Trying to get Child Support for 3 kids, 3 differant dads

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Joined: 12 Jan 2008
Posts: 1
State or Province: Virginia

PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2008 4:43 pm    Post subject: Trying to get Child Support for 3 kids, 3 differant dads Reply with quote

Looking for advice re: Paternity &am...


I am looking for some advice for my Sister in law. She has admittedly made some questionable life choices, but my interest in the matter is solely in making sure my niece, nephew, and their soon to be born sibling are taken care of.

Her kids are almost 3, 2(?), and soon to be born in a couple of weeks. We have extremely limited contact with DH's family b/c we live overseas on military orders. She moved in with her mom in Colorado because she wasn't making it on her own but hopes to move into an apartment. She works a day job and a night job, a sitter watches the kids during the day and her mom watches them at night.

There are 3 differant biological fathers in the picture. Only 1 is paying child support but it is not court ordered for a total $500 a month. That makes us uneasy b/c he could stop paying it at any time. One of the other fathers of the expected baby just enlisted in the Marines and she spoke with the recruiter who told her that he was not responsible for child support b/c they aree not married (which is total crap of course).

She says she doesn't qualify for public assistance because of the $500 a month in child support for 1 of the kids. She does get medicare for her and the kids for a doctor's care I guess, but the kids get dental and she doesn't. We're helping her out getting 3 (?) root canals this month, but she needs to fix this situation as best as she can, there are going to be other emergencies that arise and we can't be the bank every time.

We are willing to pay for a lawyer to get court ordered child support if possible for all 3 kids and their respective "fathers." She lives in Aurora, CO but at least one, if not two of them live in Texas where she used to live until she couldn't make it on her own and then moved in with her mom in CO.

Where can I find a good lawyer? How do I know they're not scam artists?
What are the steps that will be involved, will all fathers have to be tested for paternity before they can be ordered to pay?
How much can I expect this to cost?
How long does this sort of thing normally take? Six months? A year?

We moving back to Virginia next month, but we'll have to communicate long distance to pay, get updates, whatever. We don't want to take over her life but we DO want to help her situation. We're not thrilled about all of this but we don't want to sit back and watch the kids suffer because of the bed she made.

We want to know that she is doing everything on her end to help the lawyer do their job as quickly and efficiently as possible(i.e. making it less expensive for us) whether it's tracking down additional information, names, whatever. That's why we need to "baby-sit" the situation to ensurer we're not flushing our hard earned money down the toilet, we're not exactly rolling in it and I have to quit my job on account of the move in a month and am planning on going back to school.

We're willing to help, but we're not willing to finance stupidity. That sounds harsh, but that's why we won't send over any money directly. She has demonstrated her irresponsibility and we don't trust her judgement. She's had her first at 19 and is still young and naive. She did say she is getting her tubes tied after the birth of her 3rd. It's "good" I guess, but I find it sad because she's so young. If she ever finds a real man who adores her, she probably won't be able to create a child with him which is what it's all about, KWIM? This isn't the way it's supposed to happen and her hard road she chose is about to get harder with a 3rd baby and no help from Daddy.

If anyone has been in a similar situation or knows someone who has, I would love your input!
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Still in Love

Joined: 05 Sep 2006
Posts: 216
State or Province: California

PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2008 5:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

What she needs to do is first and foremost, collect all the important information on all the fathers... names, DOB, SS#'s, address (home and work).

If the children were born in texas, did the dad's sign the birth certificates? If they did, then no you don't have to worry about a paternity test as Texas will not allow the father to sign the birth certificate if they don't also sign the acknowledgement of Paternity form that goes along with it.

She and her mom can start contacting a few different attorney's... there are free consultations. Family law attorney's are not cheap... you can expect at least a 3000 retainer... The two fathers will have to be sued through interstate... meaning that the attorney will have to file the petitions through the interstate office at the Attorney General, and it will have to be two separate petitions... one for each child... the one that isn't born yet... she can't file for anything till it is born... as the courts do not consider it a child till it breathes...

And that is bull about him not having to support the child just cause they are not married... she just needs to contact his commanding officer and he will be pulled to the carpet... the marines will garnish his support and send it to her... and he will have to have the child on his medical...

you must remember that if she files for support, she could end up having to send her children out of state for visitation. Also, she will want to work out the agreement with the one that is already paying... and not try to get greedy as she may not get that much with a court order.
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